Ilana’s Story

When I was 40, I had a mammogram- just so that I could experience what, as a women’s health GP, I was asking my patients to do. 

As expected, the results showed “No signs of cancer.”

At 43, I saw my GP for my regular women’s health check. No mention was made of a mammogram. I tried my best to be a patient, not a doctor, as we are advised in our medical training, so I left things be and didn’t push the point of breast imaging, despite the fact that I always sent my patients for mammography from 40.

2 months later, getting dressed one morning, I found a 2.5 cm breast lump with characteristics that left me certain that this was a serious cancer. 

The usual barrage of scans, biopsies followed and then a single mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. On the last day of my chemo, I had a CT scan of my chest, to make sure that the previously noted single nodule in my right lung was still there, and had not changed. I’d been told it was most likely benign, so it wouldn't respond to the chemo and would still be there, unchanged.

Well, that didn't go as planned. 

The lung mass had gone, raising a strong likelihood that this had, in fact, been a breast cancer metastasis, and that I had Stage 4 disease. 

I have never ever experienced such terror, being told, as an immigrant, a single mum with 2 kids (my youngest was 10) that I had incurable cancer. From watching my good friends and several patients go through Stage 4 breast cancer, I believed that I would likely be gone within about 2 years.

I made up my mind to try to change my body that was so worn out by life and stress, into a healthier one, where cancer cells may not like living. 

I knew I had to reduce stress and I couldn't exactly get rid of my kids!!! Being a GP is a tough and demanding job, where you never know what pathology will next walk through the door- like being on the frontline in an army.

I made the heartbreaking decision to cease my GP work, partly due to the ongoing side effects of chemo and hormone blockers, that caused forgetfulness, fatigue and concentration challenges. I continued part time work in Cosmetic Medicine, where I discovered my creativity that must have been suppressed from childhood. 

Each 6 monthly chest CT scan, for the next 7 years was nerve wracking. But the lung lesion had not come back. 

10 years after my diagnosis, one of my doctors declared, “I think you're cured. Time to stop the hormone blockers.” However, the intense trauma of having been told I was Stage 4 in 2011, couldn’t be erased with a few slick words that rolled off my doctor's tongue. 

I continued my hormone blocker tablets, because, I figured, medication side effects trumped taking a chance of the cancer coming back.

I actually started to believe that maybe my lung lesion had actually been benign and wasn't ever coming back. 

Fast forward to my appointment with a new rheumatologist in August 2024. I trusted this doctor. He heard me. We chatted and he printed off a referral for a bone scan.

Being a strong willed doctor myself, I decided to skip doing the bone scan. Yet my conscience got the better of me, as I had a review appointment booked. 

3 hours after the bone scan, I received a phone call (which I didn't answer) and then an email from the rheumatologist- not a usual occurrence. 

There were 4 metastatic lesions in my skull and iliac bones that needed oncologist input urgently. 

That was my WELCOME TO LIFE WITH STAGE 4 BREAST CANCER. The usual battery of tests, biopsies, surgeries and appointments followed. My life was now run by calendar. 

I felt so alone. 

Thankfully, another GP commented on one of my breast cancer TikTok posts, asking if I was part of the Thursday Girls. I’d never heard of this service.

I’m not a person to sit in a circle and mope about how unlucky we all are. But Thursday Girls showed me a very different take on Stage 4 Breast Cancer. I met many of women who were living alongside their metastatic disease. Women who, are choosing to LIVE rather than to give up on life.

I discovered that my Thursday Girls meeting is a safe place where I can be myself, without the well-intention but extremely annoying comments that all cancer patients receive from people who love us: 

“Think positively”

“You're so strong”

“You only get given what you can manage”

At our Thursday meetings, we share news: sometimes good, sometimes less good. 

Most importantly, we look out for one another and check in with people who are having a particularly rough time. 

 An added bonus, is that, amongst all of us, we have experienced nearly every single available treatment and test. So, we get the benefit of first-hand tips and tricks from one another, to make our paths a little easier.  

So yes, we are all living the best quality lives we possibly can. But, the fear and trepidation of what the next scan will show, never goes away. It kind of becomes part of our ‘new normal.’

Despite this, I can really say that, in a weird way, breast cancer changed my life for the better. It forced me to LIVE rather than LIVE TO WORK. 

I am truly grateful that my wish to not die when my kids were young, was granted. 14 years with Stage 4 breast cancer is nothing to be scoffed at! Who knows, I may continue to be incredibly fortunate if my cancer continues to grow slowly! 

I’m honestly living my best life right now, despite the inconvenience of this metastatic disease progression. I’m taking time at the gym, to work on building up my muscles and bone density, before I have to start chemo.

Yes, this isn't the life I signed up for. But it's the only life I have. I am making sure that a big part of the rest of my life is really the best of my life. I hope to show my children that we always have choices: whether to react as a victim to what life throws at us or to choose the path of empowering ourselves to focus on what we still have available to us. 

A huge part of my ability to do this, is courtesy of the wonderful, strong and truly inspiring women I’m proud to call my Thursday Girl Friends. And Thursday Girls wouldn't be the same without our dedicated facilitators, Marg and Emma, who make sure all our needs are taken care of and do valuable work for us behind the scenes.. 

You probably don't know that Thursday Girls isn’t government funded. We, as members, are not required to pay any fees. We rely on the generosity and kindness of donations to help to make the lives of incurable breast cancer patients a bit better. 

Considering the lifetime risk of breast cancer in Australia is 1:7, this disease is very likely touch everyone’s lives in some way. Making sure that Thursday Girls remains viable will allow so many more women to benefit from this exceptional service.