Debbie’s Story

"I have always been an "over-sharer ... an extravert, a performer, a singer, a trainer, a coach, a mentor, an over-user of exclamation marks ..."

In September 2018, at age 58 and just 6 weeks before my darling daughter Chris' wedding, I joined the non-exclusive club no one wants to belong to - I was diagnosed with breast cancer following a routine mammogram.

There was no lump. My cancer was of the pleomorphic invasive lobular variety, which arranges itself in strings of single cells, not clumps, and so without a mammogram it would not have been detected. It was situated close to my cleavage, on the right side, just off my chest wall.

Eventually, after a sentinel node biopsy with 3 positive nodes, then a lumpectomy and axillary clearance with 11 more positive nodes, and various CT body scans we determined that I had Grade 3 Stage IIIc cancer. High risk "early" breast cancer. The last rung on the staging ladder before Stage IV - metastatic, incurable disease. Sadly, in February 2020, just 18 months after diagnosis, I slipped off that last rung when I found a lump in my supraclavicular nodes just above my left collarbone – the other side of my chest.

I was working at the time of my diagnosis as a senior manager at my local public health service, Eastern Health. I had a great job, with the most fantastic team of colleagues (no, they’re friends) and I am eternally grateful for their continued loving, kind and practical support in my circumstances. My role was Enterprise Risk & Planning Manager was one of the highlights in my career, working with such a great team. I started out as a registered nurse, and progressed on to Quality Improvement, and had many varied roles and acquired skills along the way such as process re-engineering, change management, university lecturer, vocational trainer and management consulting, to name a few. With a constant parade of side effects, I haven’t been able to work since my diagnosis, but luckily, I do have great insurance!

I have always been an "over-sharer", a Myers Briggs ENFJ, an extravert, a performer, a singer, a trainer, a coach, a mentor, an over-user of exclamation marks, and so at this moment of crisis I saw no reason to stop! I came straight home from my diagnosis appointment, and I started up a closed Facebook group and invited all of my contacts that I thought would be interested or needed to know, and I started telling my story as it unfolded. I needed to do this because I found it exhausting to retell my story to my (very large number of) close friends. Then people started to say how much they were learning, and how much they enjoyed reading my random, irreverent, inappropriate yet authentic and raw, and very real thoughts… So I am now also writing a blog www.notapatientperson.com that I hope will be published as a book one day. I found it somehow comforting that maybe I could help others to navigate this storm if they came after me.

My long-suffering, loyal and fantastic husband is Russell. And my grown-up children are Richard, 33, a maths teacher, and Christina (Chris) an environmental scientist, who is 30 and married to Aidan. They have my beautiful step-granddaughter, Amelie aged 7 and now gorgeous grand-baby Charlotte, aged 5 months. Life is good!

Russell and I live at home with our 15 yo smoochy tabby cat, Diego.

Unfortunately as I write this, my liver is in high dudgeon at the 1 and a half cycles of ribociclib that I managed to have before it spat the dummy. So just waiting (6 weeks and counting) for when it settles down and I can move on to something else. One positive in this though… our 5-week trip to the UK planned for the end of May would probably have had to be cancelled were it not for the fact the whole world’s trips have been cancelled already due to Coronavirus! So that softens the blow a little!!

I feel very grateful and privileged to join Thursday Girls.